UoE - The unknown truth about Zhang Qihang

Introduction

I didn’t want to write a PDF about my relationship with Zhang Qihang Vincent, because I thought it was inappropriate for me to write about my ex after the breakup. But now I think that being appropriate is for normal people.

Many people thought that Vincent and I broke up peacefully. They thought he was very good to me during our relationship, thought we gave each other gifts, and thought he was attentive to me.

But that’s not the truth. Here is the whole truth:

I was born in 2003 and he was born in 1998, but he never thought he was five years older than me. At least, I did not see him exhibit the maturity and responsibility that a man five years older than me should possess. However, he told his friends that we broke up because of the large age difference. Didn’t he know that I was five years younger than him when he pursued me?

Charge

Asking others to pay for meals

During the two months we dated, when Vincent and I went out to eat, he would occasionally say “let the rich lady pay”, meaning that I should pay the bill. I didn’t mind paying the bill, even if he didn’t say anything, I would still occasionally pay for it. Although it was common for guys to pay for meals when dating, I would also occasionally pay for meals and even give gifts. But I really didn’t like the way he asked me to pay as a “rich lady”, it felt weird.

I forgot one thing, which was that before we started dating, we went to Costco together. We bought over 600 pounds worth of things, and he said let the “rich lady” pay, 6, and I ended up paying the bill. To me, this behavior was strange. He told his friends that his bank card was demagnetized and could only be used to pay bills below 100 at a time, and then I said I would pay. So he accepted my payment without any guilt. When he invited his friends to dinner, I paid for it with my card. Although at the time I thought, if you really don’t want to treat your girlfriend and let her pay the bill, you can split it into two or three payments of 100. My concern was not about a few hundred pounds, but about this behavior.

During the time we were together, he told me that he had a bank card with a flow of 190k pounds in his senior year, so the card was frozen. (Is spending 190k pounds a year a lot? Why can’t he apply for a new one?) He also always told me that he was planning to buy a McLaren, Ferrari, Aston Martin and other cars, and even asked me to help him see which one looked good. However, we were only together for two months and only gave each other a £40 Polaroid camera.

Unequal Gift Exchange

In our relationship, I found that Vincent had never paid attention to the principle of reciprocity in gift exchange like I did (we had previously confirmed that, based on my love habits, we would celebrate every month and anniversary to respect my sense of ritual). Therefore, this situation was not the result of my personal or habitual reasons, and I did not morally blackmail him into giving me gifts.

We had been together for two months, and he only gave me a Polaroid camera and only gave me a gift on our two-month anniversary. Before we started dating, he only gave me an LV scarf, a small coin purse as a Christmas and New Year’s gift, and a bottle of perfume.

After we started dating, he only gave me eternal flowers, and I never received any gifts for other holidays or anniversaries. On the contrary, I gave him different gifts for every holiday and anniversary, but he always made empty promises. Finally, he said it was because we had a big age difference, and the gifts should have been separated from me?

On the other hand, I gave him Givenchy cardholders, Dior ties, Fendi hats, Fendi clothes, Dior perfume, Alyx necklaces, and even small gifts such as bathrobes, toothbrushes, tooth cups, showerheads, and photo collages. Because he had less hair, I bought him hair growth gummies and calcium tablets. He had two cats at home, but only one drinking bowl, so when I was wandering alone, I bought a drinking bowl for his cats to prevent them from fighting.

In fact, I deliberately controlled the gifts I gave him because I didn’t want to put too much pressure on him, and I had never received too expensive gifts. Otherwise, I might give him more expensive gifts.

During our dating period, I never thought of asking him for anything. Every time he offered, but nothing ever came of it. Also, when we went shopping, I never let him pay for me, even for cosmetics and shower gel, I always paid for them myself. On the contrary, sometimes I even paid for some of his things. I won’t go into details here, but just give a general idea.

In this situation, when we went on a trip, he suddenly asked me, “How many things in your house did I give you?” I was shocked and very surprised. Wasn’t it always me who gave gifts? So I answered three gifts, a scarf, a coin purse, and an aromatherapy. I really wanted to ask him, “How many things in your house did I give you?”

Conclusion (doubtful)

I know he once told me that his ex-girlfriend was shallow and they only dated for a month, and he didn’t take the relationship seriously. He even threw away her shoes and bought her a pair of Gucci shoes. I don’t know how he would describe me, but I think the above text is clear enough.

Insinuations

The breaking point of our relationship was on March 2nd, the day he celebrated his birthday with another friend. That afternoon, I was a bit distant towards him for a short two hours because my good friends found out that the two-month anniversary gift he gave me was just a casual Polaroid and he didn’t comfort me or make it up to me. At that time, he told me that their original two-month gift was supposed to be a CCD camera for me, but they couldn’t find a better alternative with better color. I believed him at the time, but later found out that it was just an excuse, and the gift was just an empty one.

Although I was happy to receive the gift he gave me, the Polaroid, because I am a simple person and thought that receiving a small gift from a boyfriend was a happy thing, I posted an Instagram story saying that I was happy to receive a travel gift from my boyfriend (which was brought back during the trip, and it happened to be our two-month anniversary that day).

In the afternoon, I chatted with him normally, and then went to the gym and a friend’s birthday party at night. At the party, Vincent kept asking me why I was so cold to him in the afternoon, and I kept saying it was nothing. I didn’t want to make him sad and wanted to communicate this issue with him in a few days if I still felt uncomfortable. Later, he kept asking, so I said, “I feel like you don’t care about our anniversary and holidays.”

Then he asked:

“Do you think we have to go to a fancy restaurant for our anniversary?”

“Do you think the Polaroid isn’t good enough?”

At first, when I received the Polaroid camera, I was happy and didn’t consider its value or what it represented to eat in a certain restaurant. I don’t know why he used such sarcastic words. On the day we were together and within a month, we went to Michelin-starred restaurants. I think it’s normal, and I also go to Michelin-starred restaurants or special occasion restaurants with my friends from time to time. These are all normal things. But I didn’t say we had to go to a Michelin-starred restaurant. I just happened to want barbecue that day, so I suggested going to a barbecue place. I didn’t think that we had to eat at a certain restaurant on our anniversary, but I was disappointed with his questioning attitude.

He questioned me with this attitude, and I left. I apologized to his friends and left because it was unbearable. I felt very wronged because I didn’t do anything wrong, but he blamed me for it. I have never been treated like this before, and it really made me feel very wronged.

Getting Sick and Fighting

In addition, during our relationship, I did not start exercising regularly, so I was very prone to minor illnesses, such as allergies to eyelash glue or throat inflammation. Sometimes, after arguing with him, I would feel pain in my chest. I saw the doctor many times (more than five times), but he never accompanied me once, and I always went alone. He always had various excuses for not going with me, such as not getting enough sleep or applying for a visa, etc. Because of this, we had many fights. Except for the visa incident, I think it was an objective factor, and he did nothing wrong.

But what was even more outrageous was that during my illness, my eyes were allergic, causing my whole face to be allergic and very painful, but he still came to my house and argued with me, and even slammed the door and left.

The following are screenshots of evidence. I want to ask you, is it sick for a sick person to smile happily?

If we had just broken up earlier, we wouldn’t have so many troubles now. When all of my good friends were helping me deliver medicine, he was arguing with me.

Breakup

Because it was my first breakup and it happened without any reason or warning, combined with my emotional state (I had just spent seven days celebrating his 25th birthday, and my 20th birthday was coming up next month), I drank a lot of pure whiskey and vodka at home alone, which led to me entering a state of unconsciousness and sending crying voice messages to my close friends. Then I accidentally broke the floor mirror in my house, so there were broken pieces all over the floor, but in reality, I just had a few cuts on the soles of my feet when I was walking, and there was some bleeding. It was definitely an accident, and I never intended to harm myself. That night, my two friends came to my house promptly to take care of me, and it was nothing like the rumors outside saying that I wanted to commit suicide. Those were all pure nonsense. People who know me know that I take good care of myself, so for a while after that, my house didn’t dare to have alcohol, and now I understand that I shouldn’t touch alcohol if I am not happy.

Shamelessness

At that time, we broke up because I hadn’t completely moved on and couldn’t look at things objectively. We agreed that he would come to my birthday party. If I still had some idealized thoughts about him before my birthday, then after my birthday party, I completely saw through his true face.

First of all, on March 15th, I told him the time and place, and on March 28th, I told him the dress code. I was very serious about preparing for my 20th birthday, which I moved up to April 3rd and did a lot of preparation for, including booking a private room, photographer, and venue, etc.

My biggest mistake was inviting him to my birthday party. A few days before my birthday, I didn’t want to invite him anymore, but because I had already created a group and the restaurant had made name cards and arrangements, I thought it was too late to change anything. But I overestimated some people’s shamelessness, and he actually came to my birthday party.

Here are screenshots of the relevant evidence:

After I expressed my discomfort with his behavior of not following the dress code:

It’s best to ask your heart, but we really shouldn’t talk about this.

To add on, it was his birthday and we were on a trip. After he fell asleep, I went to the hotel front desk at 3:00 am and arranged for them to prepare a small cake and champagne to be sent to his room (as shown in the picture below). The next morning, I went to the front desk to confirm the delivery time and added the tip to the bill. At the time, I thought I had done well and wanted to surprise him. However, when he saw it, he not only didn’t say thank you but also asked me why it wasn’t a better brand of champagne like Dom Perignon. How was I supposed to know that they had Dom Perignon in Montenegro? What does this mean? Should I not have done anything at all?

(I wanted to ask him, you always say that your efforts are not appreciated and you don’t know what to do, but have you ever appreciated my intentions?)

On my birthday, you were the first person to say that you couldn’t eat the birthday cake, leaving me speechless.

I feel like I’m the only one who thinks that you dressed way too outrageously on my birthday. I told you a week in advance about our dress code requirements, which were to wear a suit, and the location and time. But you insisted on wearing a black skirt, a lace shirt, and a sensory hat. Do you think you have good taste? Afterwards, you even said that you washed your pants but didn’t wash them well. You can’t even plan your time as an adult, can’t even buy an extra pair of pants, but you can buy a McLaren? You didn’t even show basic respect, and if you didn’t want to come, you could have just declined the invitation. Instead, you made me sick on my happy birthday.

At my birthday party, you even pulled my other two friends to chat, so they didn’t have time to take pictures with me. You talked about how much money you spent on your game account and even asked to borrow money to pay for the bill. You don’t even pay back the money you owe, but you still want to pretend.

We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, and yet you still manage to make me feel guilty. You even asked me what “V” meant and talked to me about whether I felt guilty or not. Don’t you think this is inappropriate? Although your behavior is very disgusting, I still let you in, which is a kind of mercy. A few days before my birthday, I started feeling like I didn’t want to invite you anymore. After all, your behavior was too much.

Clothes he gave me to take pictures

We had just broken up not long ago, and during those days, we still had limited peaceful communication. He would occasionally send me pictures of him wearing clothes or hats that I had given him when he went out.

Later on, we had no contact at all, but I still often saw his pictures in my friends’ photos on WeChat Moments and Instagram. He was always wearing the hat I gave him or wearing clothes and necklaces that I gave him. Although I have screenshots of this evidence, it really makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to upload it.

At the same time, I have never taken pictures of myself wearing things he gave me. This is because I don’t need anything he gives me other than basic necessities.

Self-doubt

In the past, when a boyfriend was only 70%-80% good to me, I would choose to break up. I don’t know why I tolerated so much, and I became more and more unlike myself. I want to say that emotional trampling can also hurt people, not just things like cheating and domestic violence that can be publicly discussed (those are too foolish, I can only say).

This relationship made a confident, sunny, and positive girl often doubt whether she was not good enough, whether she was not worthy of love… I just want to slap myself at the time. If I had to go through this relationship again, I would still make the same mistakes. But for this relationship, I really don’t want to experience it again. I will never choose to agree to be with him again. Now, it’s hard not to attribute my low interest in the opposite sex to him.

Before we got together, my mother told me not to date someone who needs financial support. I thought it was funny and even posted it on WeChat Moments. Sometimes he would joke with me about it too. Before we got together, he said he didn’t like London girls, they were all gold diggers. Now I really want to ask him, is there a reason why you got together with me because you don’t have to spend money on me?…

My friends always say that I look stupid and easy to deceive. Is sincerity so laughable in this era? I was even so stupid that I broke up on March 2nd and didn’t give him the gift for two months. The breakup letter I wrote on March 3rd, along with the breakup gift, was left at his doorstep…

Many times, people look foolish because they give their love to the wrong person.

Afterword

I am now glad that during my relationship with Vincent, I did not have a sexual relationship with him. He was not worth it, but at least he respected my opinion, and I cannot refute that. We started dating because I appreciated his attitude towards things and thought he had a good personality, and I thought he really liked me (even though he didn’t meet my previous boyfriend’s physical standards, including height and appearance). But the fact is, I couldn’t see him clearly. Love has never been a necessity in my life, and my friends are my family. In the short two months before this, I had not been in a relationship for a year, and then I encountered such a thing.

Of course, Vincent is not the only problem. According to his description, I was already his best girlfriend. I appreciate the meals he cooked for me during our relationship, and he didn’t let me wash dishes. Although I didn’t do dishes in my previous relationships either. He also bought me medicine once or twice, although I didn’t say it, my good friends would spontaneously buy medicine and other things for me. But at least he didn’t do nothing, that’s what I can think of now.

In fact, I hesitated before publishing these. I’m afraid that if I publish it, my next partner will not know that my previous partner had embarrassed me like this, and they will treat me the same or worse.

I used to think that if you like someone, you shouldn’t write a PDF that makes the situation too embarrassing. During the time just after we broke up, I tried to maintain his image, and most of what I said was about his good side. It was only later that what happened made me and my friends feel very speechless. It’s not difficult to admit that I misjudged a person.

I once asked myself if there was a reason to make this matter public? In fact, I struggled for a long time. Gossip may further damage my image, and what impact would it have on Vincent? After nearly a month of thinking, I think: a person must bear certain consequences for the harm caused. If you haven’t done decent things, why should you get decent treatment? Moreover, rumors have never stopped. It’s better for me to come out and clarify some things than to have someone spread rumors. That’s all! The truth is as above.

Comment

James, what do you think?

I think the accusations are inappropriate. In my opinion, the male protagonist may have a lower emotional intelligence, and if you feel that you cannot accept it, then it is best to go your separate ways. Unlike previous cases, Zhang Qihang did not pose any risks that society cannot tolerate, so he should not be exposed. Do you know how much trouble this will bring him?

Furthermore, there are flaws in your logical chain. In the #breakup section, you mentioned that it was your first breakup, which seems to conflict with the later statement “had been in a relationship before.” I’m not sure if there was an error during GPT’s editing, but I haven’t thoroughly traced other parts.

The impression you give is that you are retaliating against someone you believe is abnormal. But in my opinion, he did not seriously violate social morality, let alone the law. In addition, I do not agree with many of your views and do not recommend them. The purpose of your article seems to be just to expose him, and then it’s over. You prejudge and criticize him for being a show-off, which is immoral. Perhaps this world does not have so many things that are taken for granted.

GPT, evaluate Zhang Qihang.