TUoS - Kan Bowen's Seduction, Debt, and Slander
From first love to break up, Kan Bowen's tricks exposed
Source file address: 谢菲SB男，KK聊骚，欠钱，分手诋毁.pdf
This article has been re-designed to suit mobile devices and to be more universal.
Introduction
I started dating him on January 10, 2022, and during our 10 months of dating, he said inappropriate things in our chats, borrowed money from me, and repeatedly slandered me. This situation made everyone feel childish and ridiculous. However, what made me angry was not his chatting and financial issues, but his defamation.
Charge
Chatting
Kan Bowen, as my first love, was actually very important to me.
Date: February 20, 2022.
The reason for the incident was that Kan Bowen drank a lot of alcohol, lost consciousness, vomited in my car, and passed out. I couldn’t lift him alone, so I used his phone to try to find his friends for help (because we had just started dating and didn’t have many mutual friends), and accidentally saw his chat history with a girl, which was as follows:
After this incident, I wanted to break up, but he kept messaging me. Later, by chance, we talked face to face about this incident. He knelt down and begged me, and his friends also messaged me. As I was also in my first relationship and had a love brain, I chose to forgive him in the end. Looking back, I was too foolish and self-abasing.
After we got back together, he was really good to me, especially in terms of his tolerance towards me. Later, if he hadn’t made any similar mistakes again, I wouldn’t have wanted to pursue this matter too much. But a month before we broke up, I saw something similar on QQ, so our relationship that month became very bad.
Financial Dispute
When Kan Bowen first met me, he told me that his living expenses in Sheffield were 15,000 RMB for one and a half to two months. At first, I would manage him and tell him not to gamble, but since he never listened, I chose not to manage him and instead advance him money when he needed it.
Almost all of Kan Bowen’s friends know that, as a non-gambler, I often accompany him while he plays, spending the night together for nearly 10 months. Later on, he chose to open a private gambling establishment and opened it at our home. At first, I didn’t agree with it mainly because I was afraid it would affect our rest. But he promised me that private gambling establishments were very profitable, and he could earn back the money in a month, and then he would use the money to rent a house to open a Texas gambling establishment alone. However, until we broke up, he had never moved.
Here are our transaction records:
Alipay
Total: 87,000 RMB (including two large transfers he gave me, one was when his friend borrowed money from me and finally returned it to Kan Bowen, who then transferred it to me. The other was when we wanted to exchange gifts on our anniversary, but his credit card limit was not enough, so I paid first, and he transferred the money to me later. Because the prices of the gifts we exchanged were equal, there was no difference in price.)
I do owe Kan Bowen 27,629 RMB, and I am telling the truth. He did indeed transfer me a considerable amount of money via WeChat.
Pound Card
In total, Kan Bowen owes me 5060 pounds. There has been a dispute between us because my debit card was blocked, and since I only used this card to transfer money to him and withdraw money from the casino, I did not realize it was blocked for a long time. He believes he does not owe me that much money, but in fact, every time I withdraw money from the casino, I withdraw 500 pounds (I admit it myself, I will never deceive, cheating is shameful).
Rent
The rent for the house we rented together was 30,000 RMB. However, when we broke up, he had no money, and he claimed to others that his brother had purchased the house (but I don’t understand why his brother would still have to pay rent if he bought the house), which forced us to reconsider the issue of renting a house. The contract was written in my name, and initially, I wanted to rent it for two years, but I was worried that if we broke up again, he might delay returning half of the rent to me, so I decided to move out and rent a new house and have him return the original rent to me. I found a house that originally cost 1,150 pounds, not including water and electricity bills and parking fees. Considering all expenses for a month, it would cost 1,500 pounds.
Gambling Debt
In total: Kan Bowen owes me 20,350 RMB, so overall: 87,000 RMB owed to me - 27,629 RMB + 20,350 RMB + 30,000 RMB = 109,721 RMB. Regarding the British pounds: 5,060 pounds (if he does not admit that I have transferred 7,000 pounds to him, I cannot prove it, but the fact is, at the casino, there were other people present, and I withdrew 500 pounds each time. This is not an exaggeration. I just want to present solid evidence).
But these are not living expenses. He insisted that he paid for meals, and I said I also paid for meals. Okay, I don’t care, I won’t pursue it. He also said that I didn’t pay for utilities, and I was speechless. First of all, you run a Texas private club, do you deduct utilities from it? Secondly, I only lived there for a few months. If you insist on calculating like this, I had a car, and I picked you up and dropped you off for ten months. Will you share the parking fees, fines, and fuel costs? These are all ridiculous! I paid for my own insurance.
A man who says such things really embarrasses himself.
I don’t want to dwell on this, but I said “OK” and he also said “OK” halfway. However, he did return half of the money to me (April 28, 2023), but I am angry that he slandered me.
What makes me speechless is that he is called a scammer by the outside world because of financial problems, but in fact, he tells others outside that he has never borrowed money from me, and I cannot provide evidence! He even said that he does not owe me money and that the money is all made up by myself. This is the evidence of his actual arrears to me.
I don’t know how to record audio, I will send it separately later.
At the time, it was September 29, 2022. I asked him to record it because he had lost all his tuition fees due to gambling (he hadn’t lost it all at that time). I told him it was okay and I was willing to help him with his tuition fees.
However, he only needed 30,000 yuan, but he borrowed 50,000 yuan from me to go gambling. When I found out he was lying to me, I was very angry, so I recorded him. Later, he lost all his tuition fees and decided to drop out of school for a year. Even before we started dating, he introduced me to his friends like this:
I was wronged, and the last sentence of the third picture proves that he had nothing to do with me. However, I did not see this information until February 22, 2022, and by then we had been dating for a month. Kan Bowen told me he didn’t have a girlfriend when he was pursuing me, and I believed him at the time. But I think this should also be my responsibility. If I had done a preliminary investigation based on facts, I might not have persisted in the relationship.
Additional Accusations
Defamation
This is really disgusting.
First of all, I think it’s perfectly fine for couples and friends to make fun of each other. But I hope they say things that are truthful and not make up rumors.
Secondly, I did regret a little when we broke up, so when I was joking with my friend, I only said that he was a big spender, but didn’t specify which aspect. We didn’t even reveal the specific content of our chat! But Kan Bowen repeated both of our gift lists and said that he spent a lot of cash buying these gifts for me, so everyone thought he wasn’t after my money, and that I was making up stories. I only regret doing the bill (I did it recently), and we’ve been broken up for five months!
Including him and his current girlfriend going on a trip that requires a lot of money, I can totally understand that. However, I didn’t force him to pay me back or not go on the trip. I don’t want things to be so awkward. If he really doesn’t have the money, I won’t force him. But if he has the money and deliberately doesn’t pay me back, I will be angry. I don’t just want his money, but I care more about his attitude.
Slandering and Bragging About Me
I recently found out that Kan Bowen was slandering me, saying that we broke up and I demanded 4,000 pounds as a breakup fee, and that I blocked him at his doorstep and took the money away. When I confronted him, he said he only told his current girlfriend about it (he admitted to saying it first), but I wonder, why do I know about it then? His explanation was that he never said it, it was a game of telephone and the rumors got out of hand. I somewhat believe this explanation, but the fact remains that you did talk about these false things.
If I hadn’t found out and you had given the money you owed me to someone else and called it a breakup fee, that would have been really cool. Creating a breakup fee fund for your ex-girlfriend’s money, thinking that this is the generosity that a wealthy person should have, you really overestimate yourself.
At the same time, he also told others that he spent all the money he earned on me because he didn’t have much time for gambling and private casino games when he was with me. Brother, please don’t be so presumptuous. You clearly invested the money elsewhere. I don’t want to take responsibility for this matter, thank you. But what I needed at the time was his company, not his so-called money. Brother, I really don’t need it. Although I’m not rich, as long as my life and shopping are reasonable, I can take care of myself and don’t need you to take care of me.
Conflict
On April 28, 2023, I just asked him to return the money, and he immediately said he didn’t have any money. Around midnight, I met Kan Bowen at the casino. At that time, someone at the scene told me that Kan Bowen had been playing Texas Hold’em at the casino since 5 pm. I didn’t believe he didn’t have any money, so I sent him a private message asking, “Is it true that you don’t have any money, or do you not want to return my money?” If he didn’t want to return it, then I would expose him. He was very angry and began to insult me, calling me crazy and saying that talking to me was a mistake. I had already told him that it was a mistake, but he still said that. He also threatened me very aggressively, saying, “If you expose my story, forget it.” I didn’t care about the money anymore, but his words made me feel devastated. By then, he had left the casino. Because of my poor state, my friend saw the situation and got angry after reading our conversation. So my friend called Kan Bowen’s friend over and showed him the conversation between Kan Bowen and me about his current girlfriend. Later, Kan Bowen’s current girlfriend added me on WeChat, and we talked about the specific situation. I found out how he talked about me behind my back (the breakup fee reached 4,000 pounds), and I cursed him directly. Finally, he apologized.
After Kan Bowen’s friend found out, he immediately asked Kan Bowen to repay half of the loan he had promised me, and I thought the matter was over. The point is, although he has apologized and I don’t want to curse him anymore, he suddenly messaged me after waking up, saying that I lost his girlfriend. He also said that the reason why he had previously slandered his girlfriend with me was because he was afraid that I would be unhappy and would retaliate against him. I called him out on his bullshit, saying that he was the one who spoke ill of his girlfriend, not me forcing him to say those things. It was agreed that they broke up six months ago, why does he think I would want to retaliate against him? Even if I did, I would have done it a long time ago. I know about his current girlfriend, his previous girlfriend, and his past mistakes with his friends. I haven’t done anything to him, and even without all of that, his flirtatious photos and poor man persona are enough. Besides, I have a boyfriend now, so whether he and his girlfriend are doing well or not won’t affect me.
Conclusion
One day, I had to admit that the person I once loved turned out to be a small-minded person. I gave him too much of a beautiful filter. I really don’t want to say anything now, I feel quite tired, and it doesn’t matter anymore if I don’t care. It can only be said that the cost of seeing through a person is a bit too high! Hahaha.
Comment
GPT, evaluate Kan Bowen.